After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
