You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
