That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
