did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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