Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize