you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.