So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here