Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here