Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
vagina is talking i cant
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
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You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
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Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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