if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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