Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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