She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
