Can Purell be used as lube?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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