Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize