if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I skipped work to stalk him.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
