i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
