I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
