Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
