D3 body, D1 cock
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
