SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
