bring money and cleavage
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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