"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Randomize
