Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
