i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
