So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
