I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
So much rum. So many feels.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
