did you get engaged???
I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
