I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
