She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
