i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
