my vag is so smooth its legendary
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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