Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
