i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
