wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
im holly from the hills drunk
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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