That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
