woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
