i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
