fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
