Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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