you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
