He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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