He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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