there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
