mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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