I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
