i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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