the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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