is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
