I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
