She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
