bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
