when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
no you cant smoke seaweed
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
