I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
