We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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