So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
They took my balls.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
