I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
