Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
