I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Randomize
