so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
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The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
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We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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