no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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