Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Randomize
