Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize