Someone shit on the floor
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
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