Did you just see the Batmobile???
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
