I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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