All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize